Escape from Reality

In Olive Kitteridge, Elizabeth Strout’s 2008 book, I disagree with Olive Kitteridge’s coping mechanism of ignoring her problems and focusing on others, but I understand her denial after her life suddenly changes for the worse. Before her husband suffers a stroke, Olive admits how it feels “‘nice to hear other people’s problems’” (108) and gossip for fun because her life seems better in comparison. However, after her husband becomes ill, Olive begins to rely on others’ pain to help her survive. With her husband living in an assisted living home and unable to recognize her, Olive struggles daily with her grief and seeks out other people suffering. Unfortunately, each time she does, she ends up disappointed and with the realization that others’ lives seem better than hers despite their problems. When talking with a grieving widow, she becomes jealous of the women because her family and friends love and support her while Olive admits to herself, “no one will miss her” (172). Instead of trying to move on, she continues to ignore her grief and spontaneously visits Louise Larkin, a woman whose son murdered a girl, causing his parents to become pariahs in their small town. Olive hopes to “feel better…knowing the woman suffered” but even in such a horrible situation, Louise maintains her self-assured attitude and chips away at Olive’s façade of normalcy (162). Instead of focusing on improving her own life, Olive concentrates on other people’s problems, as if her life will improve if everyone else suffers. At first, Olive seems selfish and I resent her self-pitying nature, but Strout divides her novel into thirteen different stories with multiple points of view in order to demonstrate how many characters incorrectly view Olive as abrasive and aloof even though she simply hides her emotions. Strout creates sympathy for Olive as the novel continues and she reveals Olive’s loneliness and depression. After Henry becomes ill, Olive finds herself alone with her fears and self-consciousness for the first time in her life. While I pity Olive, I also recognize that she allows herself to continue suffering as a result of her resistance to change; she still waits for her son and husband to return home. She spends her life controlling her son and husband and all of a sudden, she finds herself unable to control even her own life. I can understand why she wants to escape from reality when her life suddenly falls apart, but I also think she needs to seek positive help with her life, whether in the form of a therapist or support group meetings. Olive refuses to take the initiative herself and move on with her life and becomes even more depressed when she realizes that others accept their situations.